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because the AutoDeleteManager needs to change the DB
and otherwise crashes.

Closes #1863

and fix bugs with bomb badge and hint display

and keep the hint updated when the auto-delete timer changes

as we can't detect reliably if a timer setting was mirrored or manually changed.

Also remove item update optimization from adapter as this can cause issues when items already exist.

This is a rough prototype of #1837 meant to make testing the UI easier.